A Fool of Myself

I read an intriguing blog post today that got me thinking about the effort I put into my work. And by work, I mean all these things I do for a “living.” Teaching. Blogging. Social media-ing. One of the points in the post suggested that it’s better to do one or two things very well than it is to do a lot of things with mediocre effort. Maybe I’m completely brain dead tonight, but I’m a little discouraged by the amount of mediocrity that I put forth in some of my work. It’s not that I want to be mediocre. It’s not even that what I’m doing is, by others’ standards, mediocre. It’s that by my standards, I’m not doing a good enough job.

I don’t think this crosses the line into perfectionism. I think this is me having a vision for my online classes and for SGFblogs.com and for A Fool of Myself (whose stats are still not working–maybe if I complain enough, the blogging fairies will fix them) and for Austin Creative. I’m so utopian in what I want to achieve that right now I’m discouraged to even try.

Like for SGFblogs.com, for instance. We’ve come a long way in the year that I’ve taken over our fledgling group, but I want so much more for it. I want us to have a website that adds value to Springfield’s community, and I want our bloggers to engage with the website and with each other, both in person and online. From an outsider’s perspective, maybe it looks like I’m accomplishing this, but what we have is not enough for me. At the same time, I don’t have the time to devote to maintaining the site, sending newsletters, writing tweets, engaging with everyone on Facebook, promoting the group, and being the expert, so I feel like I’m failing everyone.

I feel the same for my online classes. I get these great ideas every semester, I work hard to implement them, and I feel like they fall flat on their faces. As a result, I’m trying to troubleshoot my new idea, and my students are trying to pass the class, and by the seventh week of the semester, I feel like tossing the next nine weeks in the crapper and starting all over. I’d love to implement Blogger into my classes this fall, but let’s face it: I have three weeks before fall semester starts, and I don’t want to spend can’t spend the entire time reworking my classes. I don’t get paid for that time off, you know. I do enjoy online teaching, and I’ve been given a lot of freedom to explore the world beyond Blackboard, but sometimes I wonder if all the effort is worth it. Do the students appreciate that I’m teaching them how to use tools that they’ll encounter in the real world? Do they spend more than three seconds reviewing my comments on their work? Again, maybe I’m in a funk tonight. (Although, funny news: One of my summer students, who happens to know Chris’s boss Justin, told Justin today that my class was tough. The student seemed to think that online classes should be easier than seated classes, so I’m glad that I exceeded his expectations. I swear, I’m not sadistic; I take great pride in producing excellent English 101 materials.)

I have too many things to think about. Thankfully, Chris let me buy some new Moleskine cahiers this weekend (gridded, naturally), and I’ve been using the first one as a brainstorming journal of sorts. It just lets me get some of these ideas for my clients and my classes out of my head and onto paper, so I can sleep at night.

Oh, geez, summer semester wrapped up on Thursday, and you would think that things are slowing down, right? Uh, no. I think the reality of having a finite period of time between now and the fall semester and now and when Junior comes is beginning to hit me. Of utmost concern, is how much I’d like to get done this week because this will likely be Chris’s slowest week between now and October, and we have lots of little Austin Creative dealings to hash through. I love talking business and project management and upcoming projects with him, but the fact of the matter is that there’s a lot of work involved in running a business, and talking just doesn’t do the job most days. Most days require action. A lot of action. And I have so many little big things on the Austin Creative to-do list that my mind is just swimming. And I can totally understand my perfect client right now: the busy business owner who doesn’t have time to do their own social media! Ack! I mean really. I have to make time just to do the bare minimum of what I consider acceptable social media activity for my business. Can’t you see why I am spiraling into insanity?

And on top of that, my WordPress.com stats are not working. And I don’t have time to troubleshoot. I. Am. Annoyed.

Yes, Chris and I watched Season 1 Disc 1 of The Big Bang Theory tonight, and I don’t know which I enjoy more: Chris’s out loud belly laughs or the fact that as I laugh at the TV, I’m really laughing at myself. You don’t realize how nerdy you are until you see it personified on TV. Sort of like I never realized how crazy I was about label makers until I saw this quality personified in Monica on Friends, a quality I’m sure Sheldon also appreciates. And we never realized how close Chris is to having clinically-diagnosed OCD until we watched Monk.

Now I’m no quantum physicist, but I have a penchant for the geeky things in life: blogs, extra large vocabularies, flannel plaid pants, whiteboards as decor, and awkward social situations. I’m glad someone out there appreciates these things enough to write a TV show about them!

Oh, so tired tonight. Could not wait to get home, slip on my flannel, and put my feet up. Add to that some milk and chocolate chip cookies–and a Mowgli on my belly–and well, life is pretty good. Who knew growing Mini Austin would take so much out of me?

P. S. I wore my first maternity shirt today. Consensus? I’m cute. But does anyone in their right mind ever tell a pregnant woman she isn’t cute?

I’m getting my lecture notes together for tomorrow night’s blogging class at OTC, and I’m wondering if I know blogging too well to teach it to the small business owners in my class. Add to that the fact the fact that I only have three hours to convince them that blogging is valuable, share with them some strategies for success, and get them started on their own blogs, and my brain is about to tap out.

Hear me out. I’m not saying that I am a blogging expert. I’m not saying that I have nothing more to learn about blogging ever again. And I’m not saying that I’m ill-equipped to teach this course. What I am saying is that I converted to blogging in 2006, which is a long time in the cyber-verse, and my reasons for blogging are not the same reason I’m preaching to my students tomorrow night. And truth be told, I feel a little silly that my burgeoning company has not put our blog online yet. (It is on our to-do list, but let’s wrap up July and the insanity that has ensued first.)

But I do know that blogging has value for my company. That’s why I have plans for it. That’s why I am tucking away little lessons as they cross my mind because I know that they’ll make good blog posts. I know how to blog. I know what makes a blog sink or swim. I’ve had a my share of blogging successes and failures. I get it. I just hope that I can convince my students tomorrow night. (And not scare them with my enthusiasm for blogging.)

Wish me luck!

I should have taken a picture of my feet after tonight’s run, but they were so gross, I think you’ll be thankful that I didn’t take the picture and didn’t share it with you. I’m not sure what’s going with them: maybe it’s the running, maybe it’s the summer, or maybe it’s all the flip flops I’ve been wearing. I mean, they’re pretty callous-y to begin with; I mean, running does that anyway, but my feet have started peeling this week. Seriously, I am peeling fingernail-sized chunks of skin off the bottoms of my feet. But tonight, ah, tonight I pulled a half-dollar sized chunk of skin off my heel! Needless to say, I filed my feet after my shower and put on some foot creme. And I’m sort of hoping someone will take pity on my tozers and give me a pedicure for my birthday next month!

Mini Austin is set to arrive in November, and while Chris and I have had a few baby names at the top of our list since, well, since we were dating, we decided to go back to the drawing board when it comes to choosing a Mini Moniker. All week long, we’ve been tossing names on the table with, “That’s interesting,” “I could get behind that,” and “Maybe–if it’s paired with the right middle name.”

After a trip of baby name book browsing on Saturday night, my brain was absolutely reeling: How were we ever going to pick a name? We had a long list of possibilities, but Chris’s name requirements didn’t necessarily match my requirements, and there was just too much information to process with one little iPhone Notes list. Enter the Mini Moniker Matrix.

You can see a mock-up (read: those names are out of left field and are NOT in considerations) in the picture above. The columns?

• Name in contention + meaning
• Meaningful? Yes or no? That is, do we like the meaning of the name? Chris and I both want names that the child can aspire to, so to speak. For example, Christopher Michael means “bearer of Christ” + “who is like God.” Sarah Jo means “princess” + “God is gracious.”
• Original? Yes or no? That is, what is the current popularity of the name in the United States. If the number is > 20, it gets a yes. Why? Well, Chris and I both have very common names, and that drove me crazy growing up. At the same time, we don’t want to choose a name that’s so uncommon or strange or exotic that Mini gets beat up on the playground.
• Rhythm? Yes or no? I like some degree of pentameter to names, and with Austin (two syllables) as a last name, we need an odd-syllabled first name + an even-syllabled middle name. This matrix is for first names, so to get a yes, it must have an odd number of syllables.
• Sentiment? Yes or no? Do Chris or I have any emotional attachment to this name?
• Nicknames? List them. Chris grew up with a number of nicknames at his beck and call, but I did not. We included this column just so we can be informed.
• Ethnicity? List it. Again, this is for our information, though any names with Scottish heritage will not be turned down by Chris.

We put every name on our list in the matrix, measured them, and then broke out the whiteboard. Names with three or four X’s went to the board + a handful of two X’ers (for middle naming). The result? We have three names in strong contention for Mini’s first name and five or six other names that we like for a middle name. Plus we have one combination that we both really like.

What is it? That, and all names that are in contention, will be kept a secret until we announce Mini’s name when he arrives. Certainly, if you have suggestions or guesses, you are welcome to share them. (Great) Grandma Irene thinks she has already named her first great grandson: Christopher Wayne Austin.

Shout out to my dad Wayne Church on his 55th birthday! He’s quite possibly the best dad ever! Wish you didn’t have to work today.

Here’s a shot of the pineapple oatmeal cookies–Dad’s favorite–I made for him. A double batch, of course. And yes, strange as pineapple oatmeal cookies sound, they’re quite delicious.

…has a Kum ‘n Go $.59 soda problem. What will we do when prices return to normal at the end of the summer?

And this jar is supposed to be savings for fancy date nights. Oh, the sacrifices I make for the man I love and his Dr. Pepper vice.

Oh my word! When did I get so busy? Oh, yes, when Linden and I decided we were going pro with this whole social media enthusiast thing. I won’t blog about our endeavors too much here–gotta save something for the business blog, when we get that rolling–but I’m really excited for some upcoming events that we’re helping promote.

Next week, I am teaching Twitter for Small Business I and II for the Community Enrichment Center at OTC, and the week after that, I’m teaching Blogging for Small Business.

Next week, Linden and I are attending the Missouri Distance Learning Association conference here in Springfield, and we are helping the administrators “blow up” Twitter by live tweeting the sessions we attend.

And the week after that, Linden and I are attending Online Edge: Internet Marketing Workshop hosted by Brett Curry and Chris Brewer. We are helping promote the event on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn, and we’ll be live-tweeting the event.

And the week after that, we’re wide open, aside from wrapping up the summer semester. But certainly, if you need someone to “blow up” your event on Twitter (or anywhere else), we are available!

P.S. The greatest thing about all this: Yes, I am so busy, I can barely get my to-do list in order, but I’m having a ton of crazy fun!!