A Fool of Myself

I read an intriguing blog post today that got me thinking about the effort I put into my work. And by work, I mean all these things I do for a “living.” Teaching. Blogging. Social media-ing. One of the points in the post suggested that it’s better to do one or two things very well than it is to do a lot of things with mediocre effort. Maybe I’m completely brain dead tonight, but I’m a little discouraged by the amount of mediocrity that I put forth in some of my work. It’s not that I want to be mediocre. It’s not even that what I’m doing is, by others’ standards, mediocre. It’s that by my standards, I’m not doing a good enough job.

I don’t think this crosses the line into perfectionism. I think this is me having a vision for my online classes and for SGFblogs.com and for A Fool of Myself (whose stats are still not working–maybe if I complain enough, the blogging fairies will fix them) and for Austin Creative. I’m so utopian in what I want to achieve that right now I’m discouraged to even try.

Like for SGFblogs.com, for instance. We’ve come a long way in the year that I’ve taken over our fledgling group, but I want so much more for it. I want us to have a website that adds value to Springfield’s community, and I want our bloggers to engage with the website and with each other, both in person and online. From an outsider’s perspective, maybe it looks like I’m accomplishing this, but what we have is not enough for me. At the same time, I don’t have the time to devote to maintaining the site, sending newsletters, writing tweets, engaging with everyone on Facebook, promoting the group, and being the expert, so I feel like I’m failing everyone.

I feel the same for my online classes. I get these great ideas every semester, I work hard to implement them, and I feel like they fall flat on their faces. As a result, I’m trying to troubleshoot my new idea, and my students are trying to pass the class, and by the seventh week of the semester, I feel like tossing the next nine weeks in the crapper and starting all over. I’d love to implement Blogger into my classes this fall, but let’s face it: I have three weeks before fall semester starts, and I don’t want to spend can’t spend the entire time reworking my classes. I don’t get paid for that time off, you know. I do enjoy online teaching, and I’ve been given a lot of freedom to explore the world beyond Blackboard, but sometimes I wonder if all the effort is worth it. Do the students appreciate that I’m teaching them how to use tools that they’ll encounter in the real world? Do they spend more than three seconds reviewing my comments on their work? Again, maybe I’m in a funk tonight. (Although, funny news: One of my summer students, who happens to know Chris’s boss Justin, told Justin today that my class was tough. The student seemed to think that online classes should be easier than seated classes, so I’m glad that I exceeded his expectations. I swear, I’m not sadistic; I take great pride in producing excellent English 101 materials.)

I have too many things to think about. Thankfully, Chris let me buy some new Moleskine cahiers this weekend (gridded, naturally), and I’ve been using the first one as a brainstorming journal of sorts. It just lets me get some of these ideas for my clients and my classes out of my head and onto paper, so I can sleep at night.

Oh, geez, summer semester wrapped up on Thursday, and you would think that things are slowing down, right? Uh, no. I think the reality of having a finite period of time between now and the fall semester and now and when Junior comes is beginning to hit me. Of utmost concern, is how much I’d like to get done this week because this will likely be Chris’s slowest week between now and October, and we have lots of little Austin Creative dealings to hash through. I love talking business and project management and upcoming projects with him, but the fact of the matter is that there’s a lot of work involved in running a business, and talking just doesn’t do the job most days. Most days require action. A lot of action. And I have so many little big things on the Austin Creative to-do list that my mind is just swimming. And I can totally understand my perfect client right now: the busy business owner who doesn’t have time to do their own social media! Ack! I mean really. I have to make time just to do the bare minimum of what I consider acceptable social media activity for my business. Can’t you see why I am spiraling into insanity?

And on top of that, my WordPress.com stats are not working. And I don’t have time to troubleshoot. I. Am. Annoyed.

I’m getting my lecture notes together for tomorrow night’s blogging class at OTC, and I’m wondering if I know blogging too well to teach it to the small business owners in my class. Add to that the fact the fact that I only have three hours to convince them that blogging is valuable, share with them some strategies for success, and get them started on their own blogs, and my brain is about to tap out.

Hear me out. I’m not saying that I am a blogging expert. I’m not saying that I have nothing more to learn about blogging ever again. And I’m not saying that I’m ill-equipped to teach this course. What I am saying is that I converted to blogging in 2006, which is a long time in the cyber-verse, and my reasons for blogging are not the same reason I’m preaching to my students tomorrow night. And truth be told, I feel a little silly that my burgeoning company has not put our blog online yet. (It is on our to-do list, but let’s wrap up July and the insanity that has ensued first.)

But I do know that blogging has value for my company. That’s why I have plans for it. That’s why I am tucking away little lessons as they cross my mind because I know that they’ll make good blog posts. I know how to blog. I know what makes a blog sink or swim. I’ve had a my share of blogging successes and failures. I get it. I just hope that I can convince my students tomorrow night. (And not scare them with my enthusiasm for blogging.)

Wish me luck!

I should have taken a picture of my feet after tonight’s run, but they were so gross, I think you’ll be thankful that I didn’t take the picture and didn’t share it with you. I’m not sure what’s going with them: maybe it’s the running, maybe it’s the summer, or maybe it’s all the flip flops I’ve been wearing. I mean, they’re pretty callous-y to begin with; I mean, running does that anyway, but my feet have started peeling this week. Seriously, I am peeling fingernail-sized chunks of skin off the bottoms of my feet. But tonight, ah, tonight I pulled a half-dollar sized chunk of skin off my heel! Needless to say, I filed my feet after my shower and put on some foot creme. And I’m sort of hoping someone will take pity on my tozers and give me a pedicure for my birthday next month!

…has a Kum ‘n Go $.59 soda problem. What will we do when prices return to normal at the end of the summer?

And this jar is supposed to be savings for fancy date nights. Oh, the sacrifices I make for the man I love and his Dr. Pepper vice.

That is, I judge my frosted mini wheats based on their frosting. And as you can see in my picture below, you can see that there is a range of frosting on today’s sampling of FMWs. Too much inconsistency, if you ask me. Am I really expected to eat the FMWs that have VIRTUALLY ZERO FROSTING? DRY? I don’t think so! These sad, frosting-deprived wheats are going back in the bowl where they will be unable to fulfill their FMW destiny. I’m not eating them. Hard stop.

A question for the masses: When did you first encounter MLA in your English classes? When did you learn that claiming someone else’s writing as your own is plagiarism?

I learned MLA in eighth grade and used it throughout high school. Can’t remember when I learned that copying someone else’s words is called plagiarism, but I can recall The Fear that was put in me if ever I did plagiarize. Definitely practiced citing my sources throughout high school.

And now I find myself teaching community college writing, and I have students claiming they didn’t know that using someone else’s words and calling them their own is wrong. And I just can’t believe them! It’s like not learning that 2 + 2 = 4, right? How do you not know that!?

Any insight you can provide would be much appreciated!

In our family, we serve sloppy joes neat. What can I say, Chris and I have weird food proclivities.

See Exhibit A:

I am of the general opinion that whoever invented Daylight Savings Time should be drug out in the street and shot. I’ll be in a better mood next week (or next month) in July when my body has adjusted to one less hour of sleep. And I know you’re, like, Sarah, you don’t lose an hour of sleep every night–just the one night.

And I’m all, like, that’s a load of crap. And I’m all, like, using the word like because it’s “time” to go to bed, but my body says it isn’t, and so, like, I’m typing this blog post instead of, like, staring at my ceiling fan for, like, two hours. And I’m, like, super annoyed that this is how it’s going to, like, be for the next two months, so I, like, thought I might use the work like a lot in this blog post, so, like, you’ll be annoyed, too.

Because really this is what we do. After DST begins, we, like, get up at the same time, like, every day, but we go to bed, like, an hour later, like, every night. Right? Didn’t you ever find it weird in college that it was a lot easier to pull all-nights spring semester? And that whenever you were dating someone new in the spring, it was a lot easier to stay up until 5 AM falling in love with each other than it was in the fall? And that it was a lot harder to get to those 10 AM classes during the spring semester? Some people blame it on spring fever, which I have because I’m as sick of the last five months of winter as the next person. Seriously, when did Springfield turn into Bismarck? Anyway, I blame all these phenomena on DST.

Because really, who takes a two-hour nap at 6 PM? Me. That’s right, the afternoon foggies found me at 6 PM because they don’t honor DST, and they persuaded me to snuggle up under a warm blanket this evening to take a nappie-poo. And while I woke up around 7, I didn’t really wake up until 9:30, which is when I got my second wind and spent a few hours sewing curtains. Yes, I finally broke out the sewing machine the hubs bought me for Christmas. Yea! And now it’s 11 PM, and I’m wide awake. WIDE AWAKE.

And I’m sure you’re all, like, Sarah, just don’t take a nap. My response to this is DID YOU JUST START READING THIS BLOG? You want me, Nappy Napperson, to NOT take a nap. Has anyone asked you to just not breathe? How’s that worked out for you? If you say, “But Sarah, I need to breathe to live,” then you’ll understand how I feel about napping. And while your breathing doesn’t have a huge affect on the people around you, my napping does. If Sarah doesn’t get her nap, then everyone is going to know about, and ain’t nobody gonna be, like, happy.

So yes, yes, whoever thought DST was EVER a good idea should just crawl into a hole tonight because I can’t sleep, and darn it, SOMEONE SHOULD PAY.

P.S.1. I am thankful for the additional hour of evening sunlight. ‘Tis good for the running, which I’m not doing a for a few days because I have shin splints, which suck.

P.S.2. I’ll be less grouchy when my sleep schedule returns to “normal” and when hubs gets home from Chicago. Seriously, who goes to Chicago without taking his wife? That’s just mean. And I apparently use his body heat to regulate mine during the night because I’ve been sleeping with three blankets, socks, and a long-sleeve t-shirt the last two nights.

P.S.3. I’m channeling my inner Dooce tonight. Can you tell? Call it overflow from restraining myself while responding to student emails all morning. Thanks for, like, putting up with me.